Ranma 1/2: A cure for the curse - Omake 1 A Mid-Space production fanfic Posted at: midspace dot com slash fanfic ______________________________________________________________________ Standard Disclaimer: This is my work, but not my characters... blah blah. You get the point. See the Prologue for more. ______________________________________________________________________ Omake 1 - Tricks, blades, and magicians The music starts up and the familiar stains of "Where do we go from here? (You and Me)" can be heard playing. You may touch me in dreams, but they don't stay... Today you don't have much to say... How am I gonna to face the light of day? What have I done now? Things are queasy unspoken, thinking it's for the best, then I look in to your eyes, and it's tight in my chest. Hear the river? It tells of our goodbye... It's late and they don't wait for me. Sayonara whispers on the breeze... I'll get in trouble... Let me know what in your heart, that a good place to start, all I need is a small sign, then I give my heart to you... You and me have still got, so much we need to say, friends is not enough, why can't we seize the day... Don't you know I got no idea, from this point on? So far to go until we both are free, you and me... ==={ @~>~~~ }=== As we end the music, the regular cast of Ranma 1/2 stand on stage on the screen. Nabiki (looks up at the sign hanging over everyone's head): since when have we ever done an omake? Soun: Two OVA's, three movies, how many episodes? Ukyo: I've lost count, there was so many of them. Shampoo (confused): We did three movies? Akane (grinning): You missed the third one. Kasumi: Oh pretty lights. Everyone (frowns at Kasumi) Shampoo (crosses arms in front of herself): It so unfair. No one tell Shampoo. Genma: (walking towards edge of screen): Since we've never done an omake, I don't see why we should start now. Kasumi: Oh pretty lights. Nabiki (grab's Kasumi and drags here towards the edge of the screen): Please don't start Kasumi. Akane (also leaving): It's not as if I asked for this. Cologne (headed for other side, leading Shampoo): This is not what the Amazon's do dear. Mousse (chases after them, trips and falls sending his glasses sliding across stage): Wait for me Shampoo! Ryoga (wanders off the screen, thinking he was still lost) Tatewaki (leaves screen): I must meditate on this dilemma. Kodachi (laughing manically as she prances off the screen, waving her ribbon) Ukyo (heads off screen): I can't stand here I've got as business to run. Happosai (bounds from one edge of the screen to the other with a bag on his back, and a pair of panties on his head): What a haul! What a haul! Soun (runs after Happosai): Master, please wait! Ranma (looks left and right, wondering where everyone had gone): Hey, we're supposed to do an omake! (Mumbles to himself) It's written on the script! (Out loud again) Oh well, maybe we should just run the cut scenes and the outtakes. That should keep everyone happy. Akane (pops head back on screen): What outtakes? Ranma: You know, all the pieces that don't make it onto TV. All the mistakes we made during filming. (Puts finger to chin in thought.) Like the one where you ran through the bathhouse and slipped on some soap. (Breaks into a grin) Akane (walks onto screen): We can't show that, it's... it's so embarrassing. Ranma: We got one where pop stuffed himself full of food before filming... Genma (re-enters screen) Ranma: Several of Shampoo, there's Cologne, Ukyo, Ryoga, um... some of Soun, and Nabiki, hah and even Kasumi. Everyone (slowly comes back onto the screen, irritated at the threat of been shown up in an outtake) Ranma (with a big grin): Then there's the oh, that ought to be really good Nabiki: Just run the omake. Ranma (finally notices that everyone is back): Oh. Um we can't Akane (frowns): Why not? Ranma: Where's my other half? Ukyo: Why Ranma (looking around for the redhead): Isn't she supposed to be here? This omake is after the first episode after all. Ryoga: It's an omake Ranma. She doesn't have to be here yet. Soun: Just run the omake son. Kasumi: Oh pretty lights. Everyone (They all face fault and collapse on the floor) ==={ @~>~~~ }=== The pretty lights start flashing as the stage darkens. Another sign descends from the top in bright strobing lights: The Great Magician Mousse As the lights brighten once again, we find Mousse on the stage by himself, with a small table in front of him, a strange contraption like a doorframe beside him, wearing of all things, a black top hat. It clashes with his white robe and thick glasses. Mousse: I am the Amazing Magician Mousse Shampoo (from offstage): It's Great Magician Mousse, baka. Read the sign. Mousse: Today I will be performing a magical feat to astound everyone. I will require the presence of my assistant. (Holds out hand to edge of stage) Onna-Ranma (shoved forcible on stage by unknown party or parties): Hey, don't push... what? What am I doing up here? Mousse (flicks a chain out of sleeve and snatches onto onna -Ranma's wrist, and pulls her across): My assistant today will be the beautiful Ranko. Ranma (struggling with chain): Hey duck-boy I'm not Sham... huh? I thought Shampoo was supposed to be you assistant! Mousse (whispers to Ranma, but loud enough for everyone to hear): Just go along with it. You have a better stage presence than Shampoo anyhow. A bonbori flies out of the side and hits Mousse in the side of the head. Mousse adjusts his glasses and glares off stage. Mousse: Amazing Magician Mousse will now perform his Amazing act. Shampoo (groans loudly) Mousse leads Ranko over to the contraption. He opens it up, and gets her to stand still as he locked first her wrists to the frame, and then her ankles to the base. Finally he swings another clasp down to hold her head still. Ranko (trying to turn head, but can't): What kind of magic trick is this? You're not going to throw knives at me are you? Mousse: Nothing so simplistic my dear assistant. I have no knives on me at the moment. (He demonstrates this by holding open once sleave) See, nothing up this sleave. (He holds open the other.) Nothing up here either. Shampoo (from offstage): Nothing between his ears either. The sound of sniggering echoes from both sides of the stage. Mousse (ignores the comments without any facial reaction and presses a hidden switch on the floor under his robes.) Overhead a sandbag comes loose and falls on a particular girl's head with a dull clunk and knocks her out. Mousse: Now without further ado, I will now split my lovely assistant in two. (Pressing another hidden switch on the floor, the sounds of mechanical popping reverberate overhead. Overhead a giant blade swings down from the top of the stage like a pendulum, swinging left and right above the girl locked in the frame. As it swings right, the there is a clunk and the blade descends an inch, and when it swings back it's a little lower than before. Ranko (trying to look up, but the frame stop her head from moving): What the hell is that? (She hears the whooshing sound made by the blade as it swings back and forth.) Mousse (addressing audience): With the blade you now see swinging back and forth, I will split my assistant Ranko into two halves. The blade descends a little more. Ranko (screams): What? Are you crazy? Get me out of here! (Struggling in the frame.) Come on get me out of here! Shampoo? Help please! The blade descends a little more. Ranko (feeling the air move now as the blade passes overhead): I mean it! Someone get me out of this! Mousse: For the sake of children in the audience, I will raise this curtain. (He presses another hidden button on the floor) A silk curtain rises from the floor of the stage right in front of the frame. A spotlight from behind turns on, so the shadows of Ranko, the frame and the swinging blade are clearly visible. Ranko (desperate now): Help! Help!!!!! (She starts screaming loudly as no one makes a move to help her.) The blade descends a little more. The shadow now passes the top of the frame and the sound of it hitting wood echoes. Wood chips fly out from behind the curtain and Mousse bends down the pick one up. He holds it up to the audience to see before tossing it aside. Ranko (continues screaming, no longer bothering to call for help.) The blade descends a little more, and sends more wood clips flying. The shadow of Ranko continues to struggle, but the frame is apparently more solid than it appears, except for the splintered portion above her head. Once more the blade descends a little more, and it's shadow passes though that of Ranko head and the screaming suddenly stops. The stage is ominously quiet as Mousse takes his glasses off and polishes them a little as the blade continues to lower itself, its shadow swinging left and right as it descends through the still body. Mousse makes not comment when he put his glasses back on, merely plays with the edge of his robe as he waits for the swinging blade to finally reach the bottom. Time wears on, and the blade reaches the bottom. Mousse presses a hidden switch and the shadow of the blade slows its swing as it is drawn back up into the ceiling out of sight. The shadow behind the thin curtain now shows the Ranko as she was before, but the frame looks distorted and bent in some places as if someone had taken an axe to it and chopped portions of it out. Mousse: And now for what we've all been waiting for. (Presses another hidden button.) The silk curtain falls away to reveal what we expect. A broken and chopped frame holding what appear to be Ranko's body, but her face is frozen in a look of horror. Mousse (moves up to the frame to release Ranko, but upon touching it, it falls away anyhow in little bits): Now if my assistant will step down. Grabbing one of her hands, Ranko starts to move. Stepping aside, from the frame, reveals otoko-Ranma standing in the same place as Ranko had been. Audience (claps and cheers wildly. Wouldn't you?) Mousse grabs otoko-Ranma's hand and leads him off the frame also, demonstrating that they aren't cardboard cut-outs but both sides of Ranma. Both Ranma's (comes out of their shocked states) Ranko: What the hell were you doing? Otoko-Ranma: You were trying to kills us! Mousse merely holds both their hands on either side of him as he takes a bow to the audience. Otoko-Ranma: Hey duck-boy! Maybe we ought to try and split you eh? The big curtain drops from the ceiling now that the act has finished. Shampoo (from offstage): That was mean duck-boy. You no meant to hurt Shampoo like that. Ranko: Let's split him and see how he feels. Mousse (starting to feel a little afraid when both Ranma's grab a hold of his hands firmly. Quickly he presses another button on the stage floor.) Overhead a bucket tied up in the rafters is upended, and water splashes down. Shampoo: Meoww? Both Ranma's: AHHHHHHHHHHH! Mousse's unconscious form falls to the floor, sticking out from below the curtain, his hat rolling across the stage. The lights fade from the stage. End Omake 1 ______________________________________________________________________